mess.

the floor trips me up, feet clumsily slipping on an alcohol covered surface. the liquid splashes in through my hair as my flushed, hot face collides with the ground. i feel it underneath my colourless cheek, it's seeping into the material of my dress and touches the skin on my left hand side. the bass is thudding, the vibration running through the floor. yells of drunken happiness fill my ears and i attempt to push my limp body upwards, a hand grips the underneath of my arm and helps with the tug to keep me from falling yet again. i don't know who this hand belongs to. the question doesn't even enter my mind. i try focus my eyes on the blurry clock above the hallway opening. the six is at the bottom, right? the six.. and the three.. that's on the right.. it's half past three. where did you go? the helpful arm leads me past the hallway opening, lightly nudges me into a brightly lit room, tiles on the walls and a sink fallen under my fingertips. the helpful hand loosens its grip as i stumble, desperately grasp at the shinny tiled wall and find some balance. the ripples in the water captivate me, although my stomach decides to copy and release. a mixture of pizza, alcohol and coke spills from between my chapped lips and join the rippling water in a splattering whirlpool mess. the helping hand is gone. i wonder who's still awake, who's sobering up and who's still as fucked as i am.. but i can't move. my legs locked at the joints, disability is a fear i can't handle. this wasn't meant to happen, you were meant to stay beside me. i wonder where you are, the thought gives me a sudden burst of energy and i find my fingernails trailing across the wallpaper as i make my way to the spare bedroom. a second to focus, the 3 door handles soon mash back into one. my sweaty palm grips the cool metal and turns, a flush of hot air attacks my face, the smell of sex sweeps up in through my bleeding nostrils. a girl wearing just a white, lacy bra looks back and smiles.
i found you.
i vomit.